Ya...

2006-01-21T05:37:00.000-08:00

suddenli feel like shout out... haha... o man... hmm.. u make mi think tt u like mi... i dunno isit true.. coz i onli can assume... u nv persoalli tell mi... u onli say next time den say... n assume is bad... u say u nid time... after tt how ? i mean i bery straight.. if u think we pa zhi bu he... or wat muz say.. dun ever giv mi false hope... i not desperate tt kind... now i onli can try reduce my likeness le... coz i dun wan fall deeper... n i had fall once n learn my lesson... so this time i wont le... but when i get to see u i dun wan to lose any chance... how i wish i can open yur heart... how i wish to ask u .. who am i to u...? am i zhi zhou dou qing... if yes i think i will slowly leave away from u... i not tt ind of stubborn ppl tt u MUZ like mi.. i dun force...

True love.... is being each others gurdian's angel...

2006-01-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

haha long time no blog...now watching de dou fu jie show... de song sooo old.. wat cheng li de yue laing... bla bla bla... o man.. regretted having nap.. cant slp now... feel like saying how i feel... cant keep it inside mi anymore... still forget ar ma !!! man... and olso... i like this person n i realli wana noe if she's interested.. but i try kidding ask.. but cant... man morale so down... feel like confronting to her... tell her hey i realli love u very much lehx.. how bout u ??? u noe im a guy hu will alwaes be happy infront of u... but inside mi is another thing... nv will let u noe i sad even if i do i will be happy fast later.. haha weird ? this few days i keep saying love u... actualli to mi this word is realli precious to mi.. might not even hear next time.. are u cherishing it now ? hope so.. coz once gone nv be back... sometimes i feel u so cold to mi... i not realli happy den i try to control.. but when i see u is another thing... i wonder wat de thing tt's bothering u... if u dun tel mi, u make mi guess.. and guessing is bad... i mean can be gd n bad.. ususlly bad... i dun mind waiting.... but sure there limit to it... but duno lar.. feel u r de one... should i tell u all this ? can i ? nahx.. think your attitude will change.. and tt's not wat i wan... recently so mani stuck up prject... and exam ... wonder meeting wif u not...lolx

2005-11-04T22:18:00.000-08:00

haha... finalli haf de mood blog.. half way blog n half way watch yummy... things all pass so fast man... a weeks since my ar ma pass away.. sunday going to visit her... at de temple.. sudden feel like owe alot ppl alot of things man.. haf to drop by sim lim buy empty cds... den return frenz their cd... arghs.. lazy... haha... now i feel quite anti-social le... i feel empty.. hahahaha... life suckS.. so lifeless man... dunnoe tml should cut hair not.. so fluffy... lol...

Schools going start on mon ! aRGhz... man.. haven get my lecture notes.. cant find ppl accom mi & haf to look after grandpa... man... -.- ... liFE is SO TIRED... hmm~ wed my final showdown le.. im going to b hang ! arghz... may god bless mi man... nahs nvm... hahaha...

already a few months gone le... y people will keep recalling.. Man im old i think... wherever i go whatever i do it juss hunts mi.. k larx not hunt... but jus makes my heart bleeds... i see she's realli happy wat she currently is i dun haf de courage disturb... wat can i do ? can i .......................

People part so they can meet up again....

2005-10-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

Gosh... realli busy this days... cant realli find much time... but things gona settle down... this few days ish realli weird.. instead of thinking of my ar ma... i kept thinking of someone... and kept dreaming of that someone... why cant i stop this agony... painful... keep thinking can i appraoach her.... can i ask her out... man... but jus beocoz of her stupid fren , i respect her.... haha... so long nv out le... going grow beard olso... off i go...~

2005-10-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

First thing gona say Sorry Mum... i didn't mean to hurt u ... jus tt nid some peacE... u truly respect u man... but u noe sometimes itz not realli from my heart but itz becoz u gave birth to mi n take care of mi... respect ish to be gant not demand... if u r realli doing gd things den dun expect returns... else ish not intentionally gd things... ish doing fer de sake of de returns.... hai.. wat the hell... wat happen to mi .... at least i didn't shout now le... maybe grow up ba... recently so much freaking things man...
Today went swimming at shawn hse... fruitful experience from loong... swimming u use glide... haa.. able to swim a lap liao ! woW... haha... den learn abit piano.. cool !!! luv it... den we ate candian pizza with 16 slides n pondering realli long how to split among 6 ppl... den at sauna... wow lao so hot de... went to bath come out like japanese guy.. moshi moshi~ lol... curly hair... watch some 'porn' show olso.. lol... tupid sia.. shawn alwaes block man...
Whole day was realli tired coz be4 tt nite was playing wif loong ... haha.. funni... on de way home... had been thinking fer a long time... whether to go find 'her'... alwaes find a gd excuse go see... but dun haf de courage... instead stuck outside peek n go'... den k siao ask oxy around... @-@... 'should i go see her ?' "she now xin fu ?' this qn i realli wana find de ans... maybe wait fer time passes ba...
hmm... realli 'lov' u all....hahaha ... if realli i can do anything fer u all pls let mi noe.... i will try all my beSt...

2005-10-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

feel like shouting now... knn ccb... fuk u ... ma de... ass hole !!! puFF... y do bad things keep happening... izit becoz of my blinking left eye.. still not stopping.. i am watching de most 'i nid to noe part' of bo li hua when my laptop cannot close de cd rack... freak man... desktop de graphic spoilt... god do realli hate mi man.... jus lao finish sai... today saw ppl got cut... so mani thingd happen... something interesting happen in work today anyway... overheard de conversation... lol... de boss fase like' ccb... mother born a lan jiao face kid out... si bei knn.. bla bla bla..... dotS man... lolz.. Yest saw her... actuallli i alwaes there de... but yest becoz got loong,kun,siang den manage to haf bit courage approach THE STORE... guess man... my first look... i heart beat like shit ... almost cannot catch up... i blush a little... suddenli .. i felt sad... hurt cannot take it longer i left... saw her appraoch kun n loong hearts breaks... haha.. stupid ? she jus ask if i called her... i saw her msn... y isit so unfair.... y.... her nick mention bout his stead n his display pic... y... y last time when i was wif u i asked if we can put our picture u say cannot... nick u dun wan..... y ??? can fucking get out my life.... can de hell out this world ? am i so ugly tat u cant put... jus say it out... let it out man.... dun alwaes let be be de last to noe... itz realli sad u noe... second time i rewrite.. blog sux man... ! i hate everyone...

2005-10-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

Actualli de chalet i do enjoy ... Thank you guys !

Missing her day by day...

2005-10-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

i cant slp... i tried closing my eyes , lying on my bed but still cant slp... y man... i keeping thing of her... jus cant get it out my head... u noe... i realli happy tt u found yur xing fu... n i keep recalling our memories of our xing fu... haa... so much things... remember waiting fer u downstair tuition hse... lols... accom u buy dinner... wow... i felt those thing hapen jus yesterday... u noe i realli realli wana ask u one qn. Am i not worth fer u to wait... ? but since u're already attach nvm den... i will find my ans myself ba... u dunnoe how hurt i was even we separate... haa... past... remember de neoprint ? how i cry whole night cant slp... lol...

u noe sth... i feel some part of burden drop from mi... but my heart still carries a unmended HUGE hole... u noe how much i love her ? can anybody count how mani stars out there ? i think one reason our break up ba... if u think i am all wrong so be it... but i guess ish maybe we love each other too much... everyday keep thinking if we will lose each other... or maybe i do... so afraid... not i dun trust... ish u see... how love can be so selfish... u shower so much care n u dun get it back... or maybe worst... my worst nightmare came... maybe ish 'trust' too much... cant bare let it go... but i wont enter yur life anymore...

wat left behind ish those sweet memories we had together...

1st post...

2005-10-05T00:27:00.000-07:00

Jus came back from chalet yesterday wif my e2 frenz... seriously it was quite boring.. but itz cheap... stay home olso rot... so wana see if can organise something cheer myself up... but kinda worsen... gona be de last time i going to do this kind of stuff... pretty sad now... kinda feel my frenz... all disappearing from my sides... no bodi i can entrust to... life pretty sux now man... feeling pretty sick n tired... so moodless... jus read their blog... so short time did so many stuff le... itz like summarise of once my 'éxprience' ... though my so hurt... but i olso happy... happy t i can see her happy... at least i noe she is... think i plan to be a loner fer de rest of my life le... share joys n woes alone... still i will keep my promise... =D Seriously still cant get rid of de 'shock' maybe is so unexpected or maybe i can accpet de truth yet... reality ish so scary... if im dreaming now pls wake mi up... so mani things i wish to say but i dunoe wan let it out... i jus keep it in my heart...

Today on de bus home... i keep thinking y is my life so crooked... thinking how can i make it better ? why all de bad stuff i haf to face... den i decide... to face it... fine... if tt's wat fate gona put mi thru den well i will jus follow...

Sry guys bout de chalet... kinda screw up... maybe when i manage let it go ba... haa... den i can be some talkative person... but seriously i enjoy it... though itz boring at time.. i am realli a bad fire starter.. next time if i cant find some1 hu can start fire = no BBQ... lol.. de flying croakcoach can realli make mi laugh dao stomach cramp... hahahhahaha... so funny sia... hais... den comes de time where we exchange ghost story le... so scary... de wind timing olso... de gals are so weak .. lol... i am bit afraid... but later when i was tired tt time i suddenli feel frustrated.. lol.. mood swing... dun care le ... wat ghost... i wan to slp... actualli de chalet alot say... lol.. oxy n pei juan can slp like pig man... i think bali explosion was beside them they still continu slping... typical PIG... lol... at first we guys wana wake you up to eat breakfast we went so much pain to prepared de.. but in de end we ate all up and some leftovers... although it maybe bored.. but tis whole exprience realli do add to my childhood memories collections.... de wonderful rainbow... de time we spend at carpark... haha... so mani suff... etc etc etc...

Hais.. wat i can think now is "不再乎天长地久，zhi zai hu cheng jing yong you~"

lets hope god can erase my mind on relationships...